How can I possibly know what to do with me when I don’t even know who I am?
Ignorance
They say it’s bliss, and that’s pretty much the truth, at least compared to the pain and torture of finally realizing the truth and not knowing what to do with it and not having the capacity to integrate it into your personality.
Can I just say that I pretty much hate people? I really do. people are so fake and self-absorbed (myself included). It enfuriates me. There seems to be no limit to the the height or depth of the dishonesty of human beings, neither does there appear to be a length we will not go to in order to hold on to our dlusions. We fabricate unreasonable and unachievable ideals for ourselves, and then beat ourselves and eachother up for being impotent to acheive them.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get over being angry about the lies. Why do we eat them? Why do we perpetuate them? Why do we insist on spending our life energy in pursuit of them? We know they’re lies. We know they are!
We’re nothing more than over-glorified animals who think FAR too highly of themselves and their ‘acheivements’.
Makes me sick. I hate it here.
Jason Walker - Everybody Lies Lyrics
We do what we have to when we fall in love.
We say what we need to get out when it’s not enough.
Whether it’s to yourself, or lookin’ at someone else.
Everybody lies, lies, lies.
It’s the only truth sometimes.
Doesn’t matter if it’s out there somewhere waiting for the world to find.
Or buried deep inside. Everybody lies.
Just being honest, we’re playing for both sides.
It’s easy to decieve but it’s hard when the trust that’s broken is mine.
For better, or for worse, for the happy, for the hurt.
Everybody lies, lies, lies.
It’s the only truth sometimes.
Doesn’t matter if it’s out there somewhere waiting for the world to find.
Or buried deep inside. Yeah, everybody lies.
Everybody lives, and everybody dies.
Yeah.
Oh it doesn’t matter if it’s out there somewhere
waiting for the world to find.
Or buried deep inside. Or buried deep inside.
Everybody lies.
How much alone can one person hold?
Life feels like dying. I feel like I am dying. The pain in my heart is literal. it hurts. it’s tight. It’s heavy. It’s choking me.
How can a person not care for someone so much? How can I be so unimportant to the man whose 5 children I have carried and borne.
There must be something inherantly detestable about me. That is the only way my life makes any sense.
The world is crashing down around me and there’s nothing I can do about it.
The ice is really cold the street lights really old
Her child’s all alone as she melts into her own
And slowly fades away and into a river all full of shame
But at least numb to the pain, can you see her?
…
Can you feel the shallow wave from a needle to the grave
From our hell to faraway your my only
You’re so sad my valentine on your journey to the light
But first straight to the fire
And we are
All that we are
Holding on until we fall apart
And we are
All that we are
Holding on until we fall apart
And we are
All that we are
Holding on until we fall apart
And we are
All that we are
Holding on until we fall apart
And we are
All that we are, All that we are
All that we are, All That we are
All That we are, All That we are
All that we are, All that we are
Apparently I am too profane for Tumblr? Really?
Did you have to competely delete my post without giving me an opportunity to save it somewhere? I would have liked to have been able to keep that one, even if it was too curt for Tumblr.
At least I learned something.
Would It Help If I Begged?
Can I just forget stuff, please!?!
Can I please forget when he told me “If you weren’t getting fat, I wouldn’t have to
look at other girls.”
Can I please forget all the times I’ve watched him stare at other women.
Can I please forget catching him masturbating to a portfolio of hand picked paper dolls, after rejecting my advances.
Can I please forget walking in on him masturbating to a porno movie, after rejecting me.
Can I please forget waking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing, paralyzed, knowing where he was and what he was doing, having snuck out of bed.
Can I please forget when he told me, “I don’t think about you when I masturbate.”
Can I please forget all the times he told me about his appreciations of the various body parts of my friends, without noticing mine.
Can I please forget the times he didn’t come home.
Can I please forget about the times he paid women to touch him, when I would do it for free.
Can I please forget that I will never have what he searches for.
Can I please forget when he told me I was his enemy.
Can I please forget when he noticed my first stretch marks.
Can I please forget about the backs of my legs.
Can I please forget that he is an “ass man”.
Can I please forget? Please! I don’t want to remember any of that stuff anymore. Please! Make it GO AWAY!
PLEASE!!!
Can I please forget how much it hurts.
Can I please forget the hopelessness I feel, knowing that I am stuck in this skin.
Can I please forget how much I hate me.
Can I just forget stuff, please?
You are NOT alone! →
If you use porn and you know it’s destroying your life, killing your relationships and stealing your future…. If your husband or boyfriend uses porn and you are devastated, isolated, and confused…. there is support for you. You are NOT alone! You are NOT crazy! YOU ARE NOT A PRUDE!
Violent Much?
I want to break stuff. Tear stuff to shreds. Set stuff on fire. Jump up and down and have a full blown fit. I want to rip out my hair. I want to rip off my skin and shred it to bits.
I want my husband to hurt as much as I do.
HE DESERVES IT.
Testing, Testing
1…2…3…
